1
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,240
Stop whatever you're doing, bud!

2
00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:49,280
We're having a crazy golf
championship in the medilab.

3
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:50,920
It's gonna be insane!

4
00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:52,680
I don't think so!

5
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,080
You won't say that
when you see the course. It's amazing!

6
00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:57,560
 Best hole's the fourth,
on the autopsy table.

7
00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:01,240
The bath-lift takes you up to the tee.

8
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,600
Out of bounds marked
by the commode cushions.

9
00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:05,600
You have to land your drive
over the bunion plasters

10
00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:07,800
in between
the two kidney donor dishes.

11
00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:11,200
Then a straight shot into
the medical students' practice rectum.

12
00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:15,400
Not now, man.
Can't you see I'm cooking?

13
00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:17,440
Steak? What is it, pork?

14
00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:20,280
I found a deep-freeze down on B Deck,
next to Kryten's quarters.

15
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,840
- Enough for me?
- Just one steak, one chop, one rib.

16
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:24,720
Great! Just enough!

17
00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:27,120
- Catch you later.
- Hey!

18
00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:31,160
I'm loving this pork!

19
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:36,560
Maybe needs a little more soy sauce.

20
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,320
Oww!

21
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,320
Lister, I've been meaning to say.

22
00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:46,800
Books?

23
00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:48,800
You've been reading again,
haven't you?

24
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:53,120
Listy, I've told you a million times -
don't read, it messes you up.

25
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,720
It's like giving a hamster,
who's only used to his little wheel,

26
00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:58,520
the keys to an Aston Martin.

27
00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:01,520
Crazy things are gonna happen.

28
00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:04,120
It's part of my robotics course -
I've got to read it.

29
00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:06,760
Makes you feel so inadequate.

30
00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:10,840
You know Mozart was only five when
he wrote Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star?

31
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,960
I wasn't even toilet trained
when I was five.

32
00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:16,200
You've barely mastered it now.

33
00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:18,920
How did these people
get to be so great?

34
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:20,360
I mean, Shakespeare.

35
00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:23,160
I don't understand anything he wrote,
but, man, what a dude!

36
00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:26,240
Plays, poems...
and a whole bunch of expressions.

37
00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:28,200
"A dish fit for a king" -
that was Shakespeare.

38
00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:29,640
What a great expression!

39
00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:31,880
Is it, though? Is it a great expression?

40
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,120
A dish fit for a king?
I say that all the time.

41
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,360
This is a dish fit for a king -
that's a great expression.

42
00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:39,720
I love that expression. That Shakespeare,
you've gotta hand it to him.

43
00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:42,280
He could really write a good expression.

44
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,480
Who couldn't have thought of that?

45
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,480
"In a pickle" - that was another
Shakespeare expression. In a pickle.

46
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,800
How brilliant is that?
You know what it means?

47
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:56,680
As confused as the mixed-up, stewed,
spicy vegetables in a pickle jar.

48
00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:58,200
And how are we supposed to know

49
00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:01,040
what the inside of a 16th-century
pickle jar looks like?

50
00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:02,640
And how is that relevant

51
00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:06,280
to our non-pickly lives
here in deep space today?

52
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,040
When will people learn?

53
00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:10,560
Shakespeare, it's over!

54
00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:15,960
The money that guy must have made out of
a few lousy expressions and a bad haircut.

55
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,200
Bad haircut?

56
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:20,840
Don't tell me
you haven't noticed his bad haircut?

57
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,960
But because he's had a few
hit expressions, he gets away with it.

58
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,360
What's wrong with his haircut?

59
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,480
He's got a skullet.

60
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,640
A skull what?

61
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:31,920
A bald mullet - a skullet.

62
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,640
Bald at the front, mullet at the back.

63
00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:38,920
You wouldn't wanna go out in public
with this guy.

64
00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:42,560
- Sirs, the most incredible news!
- Someone's died,

65
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,680
- and you've been left a new mop?
- Ohh!

66
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,640
Please, sir, give me some credit.

67
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,320
I'm not the one-dimensional
cleaning droid I once was.

68
00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:52,560
I've evolved into something
far more complex and multi-layered

69
00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:54,720
and, if I may say so, superior.

70
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:57,480
- Stain.
- Where?

71
00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:59,400
- Smudge.
- Oh, where?!

72
00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:00,640
- Smear.
- Oh!

73
00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:02,480
- Speck.
- Oh, speck!

74
00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:04,320
- BOTH: Smeg.
- Smeg!

75
00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,080
The crates were in transit, sir.

76
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:10,720
- I opened the first one and found this.
- What is it?

77
00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:13,080
It's a rejuvenation shower, sir.

78
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:18,080
It rewinds each individual's genome and
returns the body to any point in its past.

79
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:21,120
It can restore you to your physical prime.

80
00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:23,040
Oh, man, how great is that?

81
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:25,320
I can go back to last Thursday!

82
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:28,320
- Ahh.
- What?

83
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,120
It's Swedish.

84
00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:32,280
So?

85
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,200
It's a flat-pack - self-assembly.

86
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:37,160
We have to build it ourselves.

87
00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:39,440
"With just an Allen key
and a Phillips screwdriver,

88
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,040
"assembly should take
less than three hours."

89
00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,560
That's Swedish for a week.

90
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,360
It's not a million miles away, you know.

91
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:08,000
What about all these spare parts
we didn't use?

92
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,880
Alignment bracket.
What the hell's an alignment bracket?

93
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:15,800
Oh, look, we have taken this thing apart
and put it back together a hundred times.

94
00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:17,120
It's aligned, all right?

95
00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,000
In what area is it not aligned?

96
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:20,240
In no area.

97
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,760
It's good to go, it's aligned,
let's do it.

98
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,360
Who's gonna test it?

99
00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,240
Mm, we need something
unimportant and meaningless.

100
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:27,520
Listy, you're up.

101
00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,760
There might be something here.

102
00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,600
Bits of black plastic,

103
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:34,240
bits of metal that don't look important.

104
00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:35,960
Old battery.

105
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,360
What we really need is something organic,

106
00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,560
something alive,
something teeming with life.

107
00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:42,360
Oh, sir, what about your socks?

108
00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:46,200
Stand back, everyone.
They're coming through.

109
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:51,200
OK, I'm rejuvenating the socks.

110
00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,640
Oh! The beams.

111
00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:58,320
We're getting covered in beamer light.

112
00:05:58,440 --> 00:05:59,520
They're misaligned!

113
00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:03,080
That's what those alignment brackets
were...for!

114
00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,160
What's happened? Where are we?

115
00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:10,720
 Damn cheap, Swedish, flat-pack,
self-assembly rejuvenation showers!

116
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,160
Where the hell has it sent us?

117
00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:15,920
I fear we may have time-travelled, sirs.

118
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:19,240
And I told you those white plastic
clippy things were important!

119
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:21,880
Trees! This may be Earth!

120
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,640
Earth! It's always Earth with you guys.

121
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,520
You see some trees, it's Earth.

122
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:30,720
Who's to say it isn't a planet entirely
populated by naked warrior Cat babes

123
00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:32,800
who need me to make love to them all?

124
00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:34,560
And what are the chances of that?

125
00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:37,720
If you've never had a dream,
you've never had a dream come true.

126
00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:39,480
- (BEEPING)
- Hmm.

127
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:43,160
We're in a land called Albion, sirs -
better known as Britain.

128
00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:45,560
And the year is 23 AD.

129
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:49,080
23 AD. Weren't Britons
all nutters back then?

130
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:52,440
Running round sporting blue tattoos,
out their heads on booze,

131
00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,680
fightin', vomitin' and passin' out?

132
00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:57,760
A phase that doesn't end
any time soon, sir.

133
00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,440
Maybe we can stay.

134
00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,400
We've gotta get back to the Dwarf
and find Kochanski.

135
00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:03,920
AR, no fear, sir.

136
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:06,080
I have the returner remote right here.

137
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,560
Oh. It doesn't appear to be functioning.

138
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,480
Does it need a battery, by any chance?

139
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:13,640
Eight volts, about yay big.

140
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,320
I'll tell you what.

141
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:17,800
We'll make a battery.

142
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:19,520
Out of what, trees and moss?

143
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,040
Out of potatoes. We did it at school.

144
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:27,160
A potato, a copper coin and an iron nail -
we can make a one-volt battery.

145
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,240
Make eight, connect them up, we've got
eight volts and can return home.

146
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:33,640
Britain in 23 AD, sir,
doesn't have any potatoes

147
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,440
and won't get them until the 16th century.

148
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,880
Lemons! The exact same battery
but with lemons.

149
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:44,560
Britain in 23 AD, sir,
doesn't have any lemons either.

150
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,920
They won't get those
until the 14th century.

151
00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:48,560
He's getting closer.

152
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:51,000
So, where's our nearest lemon?

153
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:52,640
Best guess, sir, India.

154
00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:54,400
India? How far's that?

155
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:56,200
4,000 miles, sir.

156
00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:58,760
If we walk briskly,
we'll get there in six months.

157
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:00,200
BOTH: Six months?!

158
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:01,720
I can't wait.

159
00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:04,120
Well, we've got no choice
if we want to get home.

160
00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:05,520
Let's face it, sir.

161
00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:07,720
We're in a real pickle.

162
00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:09,680
Mr Lister, sir.

163
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,160
India is this way.

164
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,800
(HUBBUB)

165
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:33,960
Hey, it's a market.

166
00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:58,320
Ha-ha! I lived in the land of Albion
for ten full cycles of the moon,

167
00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:02,200
but I fled after my family were dragged
screaming from my home

168
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:03,960
to a mighty wicker tower,

169
00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:09,160
where they were sacrificed to the three
gods, Toutatis, Esus and Taranis.

170
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:12,320
First they were garrotted to death,
then they were burnt to death,

171
00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:13,720
then they were drowned to death.

172
00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:17,080
Three deaths to appease the three gods.

173
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:20,440
Then the druids drank their blood
and ate their meat

174
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,280
and said the harvest would be bountiful.

175
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,560
Right. Have you got any lemons?

176
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:30,480
They're a fruit -
they've not been launched in Europe,

177
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:31,720
but I've heard they've been released here.

178
00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:33,040
KRYTEN: Ah, lemons!

179
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:35,680
- Oh!
- Found them!

180
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,200
Citrus, citrus!

181
00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:42,520
We come from Albion, through Gaul, across
half the Roman Empire, Persia, Parthia,

182
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,600
all for this very fruit.

183
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:45,880
This one here?

184
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,120
Is it famous?

185
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,640
No, not that one in particular.

186
00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:51,960
We're in search of lemons in general.

187
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:54,120
We've walked 4,000 miles.

188
00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:55,480
How many do you want?

189
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,160
Eight.

190
00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:58,920
Eight?

191
00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,880
You walked across half the known
world for eight lemons?

192
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,320
You're right, that's absolutely insane.

193
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:05,640
Make it ten.

194
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:10,400
- Have you got a bag?
- What's a bag?

195
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,080
Bags haven't been invented yet, sir.

196
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:16,240
In 23 AD, the rich
have satchels made of goat hide.

197
00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:17,720
So what did everyone else do?

198
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:19,840
They drop things, sir.

199
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,040
Right, what next?

200
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:23,600
Apart from new feet.

201
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,440
We need copper for the positive electrode.

202
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:28,200
Copper? Where we gonna get copper?

203
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,760
Isn't Britain famous for its copper?

204
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:34,400
Ahh! No way!

205
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:35,920
I said we needed a shopping list!

206
00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:37,840
- Didn't I say we need a list?
- Hang on!

207
00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:41,000
Aren't copper coins made of copper?

208
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:42,640
He's right!

209
00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:44,560
I think I read that somewhere.

210
00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:46,840
Then we've got copper.

211
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,880
- Hee-hee!
- Next up, galvanised nails.

212
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,640
And a shave!

213
00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:53,800
- Da-daa!
- Hey!

214
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:57,360
Finally got the sphalerite ore
from a Chinese merchant.

215
00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,600
Three weeks for a few lousy nails?

216
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:01,720
Everything's so damn primitive here.

217
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:04,720
You have to remember, sir, that
many things have yet to be discovered.

218
00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:08,320
In 23 AD, they still believed
the Earth was flat,

219
00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:10,920
that Tourette's and epilepsy
were caused by demons,

220
00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:15,000
and an oxen had a higher standing
in society than a woman.

221
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,160
(SCOFFS) Where did the oxen go wrong?!

222
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:21,160
They had it all
and just threw it all away.

223
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:25,120
Also, did you know that the colour purple
is a luxury item?

224
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:28,960
It's made from crushed seashells,
and only the very rich can afford it.

225
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:30,280
Colour purple?

226
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,800
What's wrong with just mixing
red stuff with blue stuff?

227
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:34,760
- They haven't discovered that yet, sir.
- Really?

228
00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,320
- Jesus!

229
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:38,960
Yes?

230
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:40,160
What?

231
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:45,640
I'm sorry?

232
00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:48,760
I'm just... talking to my mates here.

233
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,720
- Oh. My apologies.
- No worries.

234
00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:55,840
No way!

235
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,160
- It can't be, can it?
- Don't look!

236
00:11:58,280 --> 00:11:59,560
Don't stare!

237
00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:02,840
23 AD - this is when
he was supposed to be alive.

238
00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,360
So how old would he be?

239
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:09,920
Well, let's work it out, shall we?

240
00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:13,240
In 23 AD, he'd be...

241
00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:30,160
.23,

242
00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:34,000
That's how old that guy looks.

243
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,360
What's he doing in India?

244
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:38,400
Shouldn't he be in Nazareth
or somewhere, making tables?

245
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:40,280
Maybe he's on his gap year.

246
00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:43,160
Well, according to the Bible, sirs,

247
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:46,280
there was no sight of him from when
he was a young child to when he was 30.

248
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:49,640
Oh! So this is like Club 18-30,
the holy version?

249
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,200
The missing years -
I've heard about this.

250
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:55,920
He toured the world,
perfecting his teachings.

251
00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:57,440
I'm gonna get his autograph.

252
00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:58,640
No way!

253
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:01,800
Ebay - it'll be worth a fortune.

254
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,440
You don't even believe in him!

255
00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:06,120
Look, this is
a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

256
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:09,400
All I'm gonna say is, "Sorry to be a
bore, I bet you get this all the time,

257
00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:11,320
"but you're him off the Bible,
aren't you?"

258
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:13,800
What's wrong with that?

259
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:16,000
Ah, Rimmer, please, don't say that.

260
00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:17,840
Look, it'll be fine.

261
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,480
We'll get talking, I'll tell him
my middle name's Judas.

262
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:25,360
One thing could lead to another,
we could wind up big buds.

263
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,320
Why is your middle name Judas?

264
00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:32,520
Judas embodied all the traits
my mum wanted me to have.

265
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:38,160
Your mum wanted you to be a two-faced,
double-crossing, conniving snitch?

266
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,480
She must've been very proud of you.

267
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:43,600
She was a member of the Church of Judas.

268
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:46,840
They believed that Jesus asked Judas
to swap places with him,

269
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:51,480
so Judas was crucified, and Jesus was able
to show up the following Monday and say,

270
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,440
"I'm back, baby! I'm back!"

271
00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:56,480
And nobody noticed?

272
00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,400
OK...

273
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:02,280
Judas's full name was
James Judas Didymus.

274
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:05,880
James means "twin",
Didymus means "twin".

275
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,320
Judas was Jesus's twin bro.

276
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:10,120
Jesus had a twin bro?!

277
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:12,200
According to the Church of Judas.

278
00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:15,400
So Judas sacrificed himself.

279
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:16,840
And his reputation,

280
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:20,240
and became someone who was sneered at
and reviled throughout history.

281
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,920
Just like you!

282
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,120
Your mum was really smart!

283
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,640
So what happened to Jesus afterwards?

284
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,800
He went to the South of France
with Mary Magdalene,

285
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,240
had a family and invented the wheelbarrow.

286
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:35,960
Here goes!

287
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:37,600
Rimmer, sit down!

288
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:39,080
Please, sit! Sit down!

289
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:44,400
Brothers, brothers, I... fear
thou are impatient for thine food.

290
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,640
Please...join me.

291
00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:51,080
We are all travellers.

292
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:52,640
Share with me.

293
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:53,880
Wow!

294
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,920
What an honour!

295
00:14:58,240 --> 00:14:59,640
Incidentally, we know who you are.

296
00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:02,280
Recognised the sandals.

297
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,640
Um, I'm Rimmer.

298
00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:07,280
Um, you can call me Arn or Big Man.

299
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,920
Um...talking of big...

300
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:11,360
big, big fan of yours.

301
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:13,160
Big, big fan.

302
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:18,480
Would the...gladiator
like to...join us too?

303
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,200
I'd be most honoured, sir.
Although I am not a gladiator.

304
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,760
I am a man of peace.

305
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:23,920
Oh!

306
00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,640
- Then thou shall sit next to me.
- Oh!

307
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:35,840
Ah!

308
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,040
Ah-ha-ha!

309
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:42,720
Look at all this food!

310
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:44,560
A dish fit for a king!

311
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,480
You are all from the land of Albion,
I think.

312
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:51,680
I have visited Albion.

313
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:54,040
I walked across the River of Mersey.

314
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:57,400
All those old prams, it's not hard, is it?

315
00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:00,320
There was a bridge.

316
00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:02,920
Oh, got you. I thought you meant...

317
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,680
Ah! Mine uncle.

318
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:08,280
When I was returning from
the men's room, I spied two soldiers.

319
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:09,760
Jesus...

320
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:11,200
they're on to us.

321
00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:13,360
- Problem?
- Mine enemies are many.

322
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:19,040
I will slow their path. Take him from this
place and protect him, I beseech thee.

323
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:23,320
You shall not pass
while there's a breath left in my body.

324
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:26,160
For the love I have for my Lord
is like a sea without a shore,

325
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:28,040
like a sky without a...

326
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:29,400
I wasn't ready!

327
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,520
I was still speeching!

328
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:35,680
The only escape from our enemies
is to turn and love them.

329
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:37,040
Or run. Running's good too.

330
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:38,800
LISTER: Down there!

331
00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:54,560
Look, this door isn't gonna hold for long.

332
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,920
I must face them, forgive them
and teach them the gift of love.

333
00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:02,040
And in return, they'll saw off your limbs
and stack 'em in a small pile!

334
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:03,440
(GRUNTS)

335
00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:04,840
RIMMER: What do we do?

336
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:08,960
We need to build the lemon battery,
get back to Red Dwarf and go from there.

337
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:10,160
What, take JC with us?

338
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:11,440
Well, we can't leave him here, sir.

339
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:12,840
No. Leave me.

340
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:16,280
I must face thine enemies alone.
I have no fear of death.

341
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,600
Stick with me, kid - you'll soon change.

342
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:19,800
Ooh!

343
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:23,640
- Are you OK?
- I have pain, but it-it-it will pass.

344
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,120
- (BOTH GRUNT)
- No time to waste, Kryten.

345
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:27,760
Start wiring the lemons!

346
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,360
We need wire. I'll use my finger.

347
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,000
The gladiator removes his finger?!

348
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,920
It's as if I've smoked some bark
from an acacia tree.

349
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,920
Bad bark. Well bad bark.

350
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:41,960
It's... Just relax.

351
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:43,520
We're just making a battery.

352
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:45,840
It stores energy, sir.

353
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:49,120
Electromagnetic interactions
between subatomic particles.

354
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:52,480
Or, to simplify, the copper coin,
which is a ductile metal

355
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,560
with high thermal
and electrical conductivity,

356
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:56,080
serves as the positive electrode,

357
00:17:56,200 --> 00:18:00,720
and the galvanised nail is the
electron-producing negative electrode.

358
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:04,680
The zinc is oxidised and produces
an electrochemical reaction,

359
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:08,200
which generates an electrical charge,
all from the lemon.

360
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:13,240
- Interesting. I-I have but one question.
- Oh, fire away, sir.

361
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:14,680
What's a lemon?

362
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:18,160
Enjoy the moment.

363
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:19,920
You're no longer the dumb one.

364
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:21,520
Thanks, bud!

365
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:23,400
The door's going.

366
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,680
- Quick, group together.
- LISTER: Tight circle!

367
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,000
Let's go!

368
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:36,120
Lemons truly are an amazing fruit!

369
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:38,880
Man, am I glad to be back.

370
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,800
At last I can get
a change of underwear.

371
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,880
These suckers are riding so high,
they'd show up on X-rays.

372
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:47,200
Suggest we clean up
and then return to 23 AD.

373
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:50,800
In the meantime,
I'll have a tinker with the rejuve shower.

374
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:57,000
JESUS: It is totally amazing.

375
00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:59,160
- What are you showing him, the TV?
- No.

376
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:00,480
A bag.

377
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:06,840
You can store any object
into its strange cloth walls

378
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:08,840
and then carry these objects any...

379
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:10,560
I'm dizzied by its genius!

380
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:13,480
Look! Look at the things than I can...

381
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:15,080
Ooh. Oooh!

382
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,240
What?

383
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:18,560
Ah. The demon returns.

384
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,160
Demon? What demon?!

385
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,920
The one that lurks within me is reawoken.

386
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:25,280
Lister, have you given Jesus a vindaloo?

387
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:27,560
Course not.

388
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,600
We had a jalfrezi.

389
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,440
Where does it hurt, sir?

390
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,000
My back.

391
00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:34,520
And when did it start?

392
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:35,840
14 nights ago.

393
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,680
It...it sleeps, it-it wakes.

394
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:40,960
Excuse me.

395
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:47,200
Well, we'll need an X-ray to confirm,
but I think he's got a kidney stone.

396
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,720
We may need to operate.

397
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:49,880
Is it life-threatening?

398
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,280
Depends who's operating.

399
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:54,080
14 days.

400
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,040
Sounds like the stone's too big to pass.

401
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:59,680
His kidney could shrivel and die,
and complications could set in.

402
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:04,080
We get him down the medilab, we fix him
up, we beam him back to AD 23 -

403
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:05,320
what's the problem?

404
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:06,800
We can't trust the medicomputer, sir.

405
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:09,960
Remember what happened when you went
for a mumps and rubella injection?

406
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,640
Yeah, I asked for a rube jab,
woke up with a boob job.

407
00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:16,600
- Still not right up here.
- So, we're gonna have to do it.

408
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,000
But we're not qualified.

409
00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:19,720
I'm perfectly qualified, sir.

410
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,240
After all, I've been operating
on Mr Lister for years.

411
00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:23,960
You what?!

412
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:27,160
Well, not trusting the medicomputer,
sir, what choice do I have?

413
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:28,680
What kind of operations?

414
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,200
It's all above board, sir.

415
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,000
I asked Mr Rimmer for permission.

416
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,800
Well, sir, you remember that stomach pain
you had a few months ago.

417
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,040
- Yeah.
- You remember

418
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,480
- the searing agony you were in?
- Yeah.

419
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:44,600
And remember how that
just sort of stopped?

420
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:45,760
Yeah.

421
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:47,880
Well, that's because I performed
a splenectomy on you, sir.

422
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,960
A what?!

423
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:51,560
I removed your spleen.

424
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:54,680
My spleen? You removed my spleen?!

425
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,760
Well, where is it? I might need that.

426
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,400
It's with the rest of your organs...
in the freezer.

427
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,280
Next to my quarters. On B Deck.

428
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:15,480
Excuse me.

429
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,880
So, this operation -
what does it involve?

430
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:25,440
Well, we need to insert a laser
and a ureteroscope up his urethra,

431
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:27,640
locate the stone and haul it out.

432
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:30,520
Kryten, the only urethra
I know is Urethra Franklin.

433
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,400
In English.

434
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:33,800
Here's a hint.

435
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:37,480
It's the last place any man
wants anyone inserting anything.

436
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:38,880
You what?

437
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,640
You're stuffing stuff
up his Schneiberhauser?

438
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:42,760
D'you know who
we're dealing with here?

439
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:44,760
But, sir,
it's a perfectly standard operation.

440
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:47,360
Yeah, that's cos you're not a member
of the Schneiberhauser club.

441
00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:52,360
But me, as self-appointed president of
the Schneiberhauser Owners' Society,

442
00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:55,520
let me tell you,
that is not a standard operation!

443
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:59,240
Well, perhaps we should inform him
of what we intend to do.

444
00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:02,320
I think he might notice, don't you?
Well, what's the plan?

445
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:05,400
I keep him talking over dinner
while you disappear under the table?

446
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:08,560
Best bet for a smooth operation -
he's out cold.

447
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,920
- (LISTER SIGHS)
- I thought we'd run out of anaesthetic.

448
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:12,240
Who needs anaesthetic?

449
00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:14,960
Just tell him what you're gonna do,
he'll faint on the spot!

450
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,760
Mr Lister, sir, could you hold this?

451
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,880
I'm not holding it. I barely know him.

452
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,600
Well, someone's gotta hold it
while I insert the camera.

453
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,520
Don't look at me.
I'm done throwing up for today.

454
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:34,240
Well, then, you'll have to do it, sir.

455
00:22:34,360 --> 00:22:36,720
I-I don't wanna be a holder.
Why can't I be a shover?

456
00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,440
You're not qualified to be a shover, sir.

457
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,720
I'll hold it.

458
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:44,480
It'll be an absolute privilege to hold it.

459
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:48,280
- You what?
- Pass the barbecue tongs.

460
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,520
This is the high point
of my entire career.

461
00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:00,760
Well, we should let him rest, sirs.
He'll be raring to go in the morning.

462
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,160
Your kindness is boundless.

463
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:04,720
Need anything doing, just holler.

464
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:07,760
There's some books on the table if you
get bored, computer games, feel free.

465
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:09,920
Just the bag.

466
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:12,440
Just the bag.

467
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,560
Mr Jesus, sir, good morning!

468
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,640
Mr Jesus?

469
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:27,760
Oh!

470
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:29,680
He hath risen! Ha!

471
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:30,960
Ooh!

472
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:34,920
Oh.

473
00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,400
(BEEPING)

474
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:40,000
Oh, goodness.

475
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,560
Well, who was the idiot
who let him read a history book?

476
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:56,880
Look, I didn't think.

477
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,760
Didn't it occur to you
that him reading about

478
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,880
how many wars Christianity's caused
might mess him up a bit?

479
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,160
So where is he now?

480
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:06,640
Well, according to the note,
he's gone back to 23 AD

481
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:08,480
so he can trash his reputation

482
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:13,720
so "this Christianity thingeth
never taketh offeth-eth-eth-eth".

483
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:15,760
What, no Christianity?

484
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:17,160
What about Christmas?

485
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:19,960
We've killed Wallace & Gromit!

486
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,080
Trash his reputation?
How can he do that?

487
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:27,560
Well, breaking the Ten Commandments
might be a pretty good place to start.

488
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:28,920
So wait a minute.

489
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:33,120
He's gone back to 23 AD, and we can't go
and get him cos he's taken the remote?

490
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:34,880
We do have a spare, sir.

491
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:39,600
Erin, Erin, Erin!

492
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,640
- Jesus, my boy! Come, come...
- I'm looking for my uncle.

493
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:43,960
- Hast thou seen him?
- No.

494
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,680
If thou seest him, tell him...

495
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,880
that I will be in the tavern,

496
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,080
drinking wine in great plenty

497
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,000
until my legs do the dance
of a newly born camel.

498
00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:58,520
And then my mind
will turn to dark, vile thoughts,

499
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,000
and I'll start coveting
my neighbour's oxen!

500
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,280
That's breaking
the Tenth Commandment, that is.

501
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:09,160
Oooh! And if there's time,
I might even covet his donkey.

502
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:12,120
And when I've finished coveting things,

503
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:16,600
I might make a small statue out of wood
and-and-and idolise it a bit.

504
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:19,520
You'd better watch yourself.
God is a jealous god.

505
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:22,200
You do that, and he won't just get you,
you know.

506
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:26,640
According to the Second Commandment,
he'll wipe out all your descendants.

507
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,120
Isn't that breaking
the Sixth Commandment?

508
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:30,680
Thou shalt not kill?

509
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,880
It's not killing. It's genocide.

510
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,080
I think that's OK.

511
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,240
So...doesn't God break
the Tenth Commandment,

512
00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:45,160
wishing people worshipped him
when they worship someone else?

513
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:48,240
I mean, isn't that coveting the followers
of your neighbour's god?

514
00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:50,320
Don't you try and trip God up.

515
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:52,720
Look, he wrote those commandments
in a rush.

516
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,600
He didn't have time to get them proofread.

517
00:25:55,720 --> 00:26:01,080
It's strange, but these Ten Commandments
seem to ignore the rights

518
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:02,800
- of women and children...
- Shhh!

519
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,720
...but are big on protecting the rights
of oxen-, slave- and donkey-owners.

520
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,400
- Keep it down!
- I mean, it's almost as if

521
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:14,320
a man made up these commandments
to keep a primitive people in check.

522
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,040
There he is! Get him.

523
00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:19,040
Ooh!

524
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,120
Jesus! Stop him!

525
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:23,880
Stop that man! Jesus!

526
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:29,360
You wanna fight, then, doth thou?

527
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:31,240
- No.
- Well, put 'em up, then.

528
00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:32,840
Let's see what you've got.
Don't...don't think

529
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:35,160
that just because I'm a man of peace,
I can't punch your teeth out.

530
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,200
I'm not fighting you, Jesus.

531
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:38,680
It'd be like punching Gandhi.

532
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:49,760
No, no. No, mind my hair!
You...you're messing with my hair!

533
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,000
Look, don't do this.

534
00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:53,680
Why not?

535
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:57,200
Look, so some stupid people
did some stupid things in your name.

536
00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:59,120
It's not your fault.

537
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:00,760
You make a lot of people happy.

538
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:02,200
I mean, look at me.

539
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:06,360
I presumed that, throughout history,
all famous people were amazing.

540
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:07,680
And then I met you...

541
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:09,840
and I realised they're not.

542
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:11,960
In fact, you're a bit of a knob.

543
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:14,920
Just like me.

544
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:17,080
Which means that I'm OK.

545
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:18,880
Yeah, I don't wanna be me.

546
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,960
I don't wanna walk down the street
and have people say,

547
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:24,480
"Oh, look, there's the Jesus of Caesarea,
the guy who caused all the wars."

548
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:27,200
Jesus of Caesarea?

549
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,360
You mean Jesus of Nazareth.

550
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:31,320
Jesus of Caesarea.

551
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:34,600
Son of Rachel the fornicator,
Samuel the chicken-stealer.

552
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:37,560
Samuel the chicken-stealer?

553
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:39,800
He stole them, not me.
Take it up with him.

554
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:42,520
I'm always having to leg it
because of him.

555
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:44,960
Um, is Jesus quite a popular name
around here?

556
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:46,200
Yeah, there's a few of us.

557
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,320
There's Jesus,
son of John, with a funny nose.

558
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:50,120
Jesus, son of Luke.

559
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,000
He, er, wraps plant leaves
around the feet of horses.

560
00:27:52,120 --> 00:27:54,160
About 70 of us at the last census.

561
00:27:57,120 --> 00:27:58,960
Does this mean I'm not the son of God?

562
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:01,880
Oh, bugger!

563
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,080
Count your blessings!

564
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:06,120
- It's not been all bad.
- And how's that?

565
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,480
You've had a little trip to the future.

566
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:12,240
Take what you've learned
and do something with it.

567
00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:17,280
Get your bags, genuine JC bags, people!

568
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:19,560
Come on. Get your bag.

569
00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:22,400
One bowl of goat curry,
then we're out of here.

570
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:23,760
Hey, check this.

571
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,160
- I bid thee good day.
- Hast thou booked?

572
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:30,360
Jesus, table for two.

573
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:35,560
My brother booked.
It may be in his name.

574
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:37,240
And his name, sir?

575
00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:38,520
Judas.

576
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:44,040
Here it is.

577
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:45,440
LISTER: Rimmer...

578
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:46,840
BOTH: Sit down!

579
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,800
# It's cold outside
There's no kind of atmosphere

580
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:56,160
# I'm all alone, more or less

581
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:59,360
# Let me fly far away from here

582
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:02,440
# Fun, fun, fun

583
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:05,960
# In the sun, sun, sun

584
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:09,440
# I want to lie
Shipwrecked and comatose

585
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:12,600
# Drinking fresh mango juice

586
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:16,240
# Goldfish shoals nibbling on my toes

587
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:18,920
# Fun, fun, fun

588
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:22,560
# In the sun, sun, sun

589
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:25,600
# Fun, fun, fun

590
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:29,840
# In the sun, sun, sun. #

591
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:36,160
(EXPLOSION)