1 00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:05,754 ("RED DWARF" THEME) 2 00:00:38,340 --> 00:00:42,254 Amazing. The last strawberry in the universe. 3 00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:49,257 Calibrator locked and set. Organic infrastructure recorded and stored. 4 00:00:49,460 --> 00:00:51,974 Engage the triplicator. 5 00:00:52,140 --> 00:00:55,576 - (HISSES) - It works! 6 00:00:55,740 --> 00:00:58,414 - What works? - We've adapted the matter paddle. 7 00:00:58,620 --> 00:01:01,453 Only now the returning signal is split three ways, 8 00:01:01,620 --> 00:01:06,217 so as well as receiving the original object, we also get two identical copies. 9 00:01:06,380 --> 00:01:08,815 This will solve all our supply problems. 10 00:01:09,020 --> 00:01:11,216 Taking into account the computations for recalibration, 11 00:01:11,380 --> 00:01:14,896 I think we can produce four, perhaps even five strawberries a week. 12 00:01:16,340 --> 00:01:19,296 Well, I don't know if the Nobel Prize people run a fruit section, 13 00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:21,813 but if they do, you've got to be this year's hot tip. 14 00:01:22,620 --> 00:01:24,611 Gentlemen, history beckons. 15 00:01:24,820 --> 00:01:28,893 You'll be famous. They'll build your statues, even name towns after you. 16 00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:31,569 "Dorksville" springs instantly to mind. 17 00:01:32,580 --> 00:01:36,096 - This machine could revolutionise our lives. - Absolutely. 18 00:01:36,260 --> 00:01:38,065 With this little baby running at full pelt, 19 00:01:38,089 --> 00:01:41,494 I confidently predict we could have a full fruit salad by the end of the year. 20 00:01:42,780 --> 00:01:47,570 Look, it's not just strawberries. This machine can duplicate anything. It can... 21 00:01:48,420 --> 00:01:50,411 Sir, what's wrong? 22 00:01:50,580 --> 00:01:54,096 This strawberry's incredible! So succulent. 23 00:01:54,260 --> 00:01:56,251 It's divine. 24 00:01:56,940 --> 00:01:59,819 - Is that the same? - Oh, no, no! 25 00:01:59,980 --> 00:02:03,257 - How's it different? - It's bitter, rancid. 26 00:02:03,420 --> 00:02:05,536 - Sir, I, um... - Kind of tangy. 27 00:02:05,700 --> 00:02:07,691 - Sir, ... - Crunchy. 28 00:02:07,860 --> 00:02:09,976 - Sir. - Tangy. Kind of chewy. 29 00:02:10,140 --> 00:02:14,213 Meaty, even. It's a... funny kind of wriggly texture. 30 00:02:16,500 --> 00:02:17,979 Oh, smeg! 31 00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:21,775 It's as if the triplicator has extracted all the very best elements out of one duplicate 32 00:02:21,940 --> 00:02:24,056 and the very worst from the other. 33 00:02:24,260 --> 00:02:26,731 So what would happen if we reversed the process? 34 00:02:26,755 --> 00:02:27,571 Ah yes. 35 00:02:42,420 --> 00:02:46,334 Nice experiment, guys. What do you do for an encore? Neutron bomb juggling? 36 00:02:46,540 --> 00:02:48,929 - (ALARM SOUNDS) - Rude alert! Rude alert! 37 00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:52,650 An electrical fire has knocked out my voice recognition unicycle. 38 00:02:52,860 --> 00:02:57,934 Many Wurlitzers are missing from my database. Abandon shop! This is not a daffodil! 39 00:02:58,100 --> 00:03:00,250 Repeat. This is not a daffodil. 40 00:03:01,820 --> 00:03:04,653 Well, thankfully Holly's unaffected. 41 00:03:05,140 --> 00:03:09,896 She's right! The engine core is approaching critical mass. We'll have meltdown in less than 15 minutes! 42 00:03:10,060 --> 00:03:14,975 Er, I think a brisk stroll in the direction of the cargo bay could be an outstanding career move at this point. 43 00:03:15,140 --> 00:03:17,131 Are you really saying Red Dwarf's gonna blow? 44 00:03:17,340 --> 00:03:20,332 In less time than it takes a Norwegian to buy ski boots. 45 00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:26,052 Hey, guys! I think they're playing our tune "The Awooga Waltz". Anyone care to join me in a quickstep? 46 00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:36,491 (RIMMER) Holly, open cargo bay doors. 47 00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:40,216 (NERVOUSLY) Er, Holly, those cargo bay doors we talked about earlier, 48 00:03:40,380 --> 00:03:43,653 - would you mind opening them, please? - Holly! The doors, Holly! 49 00:03:43,677 --> 00:03:46,898 The phrase "Cargo bay doors" does not appear to be in my lexicon. 50 00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:49,330 - Manual override! - The phrase "Manual override" doesn't a- 51 00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:51,298 Oh, forget it! 52 00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:05,059 That's eighty klicks. We should be clear of any possible blast zone. 53 00:04:05,860 --> 00:04:08,898 - You really think it's going to blow? - This can't be happening. 54 00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:13,014 Nothing's gonna happen. We're just here as a precaution. 55 00:04:13,180 --> 00:04:15,820 The whole ship's full of fail-safes anyway - 56 00:04:15,980 --> 00:04:19,018 cooling systems, containment panels, vacuum shields... 57 00:04:19,180 --> 00:04:21,490 The chances of it blowing are about one in... 58 00:04:29,340 --> 00:04:31,138 ..one. 59 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,811 Well, according to the charts, 60 00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:44,769 the nearest asteroid with an S3 atmosphere is six hours away. 61 00:04:44,940 --> 00:04:47,773 The trouble is we only have enough fuel for five hours' flight. 62 00:04:47,980 --> 00:04:51,416 I don't think that's going to prove to be a major problem, though, 63 00:04:51,580 --> 00:04:55,574 because we only have enough oxygen for seven minutes. 64 00:04:59,180 --> 00:05:02,059 (MUTTERS) Well, that doesn't really affect us, does it? 65 00:05:02,220 --> 00:05:05,611 - (MUTTERS) Sorry, sir? - We don't need oxygen. 66 00:05:05,780 --> 00:05:10,536 Now, here's a thought. If we ejected their corpses into outer space, 67 00:05:10,740 --> 00:05:13,858 would the weight reduction allow us to reach the asteroid? 68 00:05:20,580 --> 00:05:22,651 - Come on, Rimmer, that's not the attitude. - Sorry? 69 00:05:22,820 --> 00:05:26,609 That's not the Red Dwarf way. One in trouble, all in trouble. 70 00:05:26,820 --> 00:05:28,811 - The posse. - Boys from the Dwarf. 71 00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:32,530 - If one of us is in a fix, the Homeboys band together. - That's the way it is. 72 00:05:32,740 --> 00:05:35,129 Have you got anything in writing? 73 00:05:36,980 --> 00:05:39,130 You're a toad, Rimmer. You're a weasel. 74 00:05:39,300 --> 00:05:43,134 You're a slimy river-dwelling rodent with the morals of a praying mantis. 75 00:05:43,340 --> 00:05:47,049 I'm just being a realist. Look, you only have seven minutes left to live. 76 00:05:47,220 --> 00:05:50,292 That's tragic. God, it's tragic! 77 00:05:50,460 --> 00:05:57,298 - But for the rest of us, life must go on. - If I may interject, sir, in your case that's not exactly true. 78 00:05:57,460 --> 00:06:01,977 Remember, you are operating on emergency battery supplies. We have no spares. 79 00:06:02,140 --> 00:06:06,896 In fact, you yourself, sir, will expire in a little under four minutes. 80 00:06:09,460 --> 00:06:12,054 ...OK, homeboys, let's posse! 81 00:06:14,020 --> 00:06:16,773 - Right, Kryten, get a radar scope, scan the wreckage. - Straight away, sir. 82 00:06:16,940 --> 00:06:20,058 Cat, get suited up. Maybe some oxygen tanks have survived. 83 00:06:20,220 --> 00:06:24,976 Maybe some fuel tanks. If we get a fix, and we can get out there, and bring them on-board. 84 00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:29,819 Meanwhile, turn Rimmer down to minimum power. That way it'll triple his running time. 85 00:06:29,980 --> 00:06:32,290 Sirs, there's something out there. 86 00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:35,452 Two objects, far too vast to be debris. 87 00:06:35,620 --> 00:06:39,250 According to the backlog, they materialised just before the explosion. 88 00:06:39,420 --> 00:06:42,572 - Can we get in any closer? - Enhance maximum. 89 00:06:42,740 --> 00:06:44,936 (COMPUTER WHIRRS) 90 00:06:47,220 --> 00:06:50,451 (KRYTEN) Of course. The triplicator has made two copies of Red Dwarf. 91 00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:51,456 How? 92 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:53,891 Well, presumably, when I threw the triplicator into reverse 93 00:06:54,060 --> 00:06:58,611 it didn't reverse the process, it reversed the field of the beam. Projecting it out, not in. 94 00:06:58,820 --> 00:07:01,778 So, instead of the copying the strawberries, it copied the entire ship? 95 00:07:01,980 --> 00:07:07,931 Precisely. And presumably, the resultant power drain exposed the engine's core, and caused the original to blow. 96 00:07:08,140 --> 00:07:11,815 So, like the strawberries, there are two new Red Dwarfs, 97 00:07:11,980 --> 00:07:13,971 one succulent and divine, 98 00:07:14,140 --> 00:07:16,780 - the other... - Fish bait. 99 00:07:16,940 --> 00:07:21,855 So what's the problem? We got us a ship. And from what you're saying it should be better than the original. 100 00:07:22,060 --> 00:07:26,497 - Not quite. - In the lab, the triplicated copies had a limited lifespan. 101 00:07:26,700 --> 00:07:29,260 - How limited? - About an hour. 102 00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:33,818 Well, there may be a solution. The contents of the ship should be triplicated too. 103 00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:38,696 So, there will be a working triplicator on-board whichever of the ships is the superior. 104 00:07:38,860 --> 00:07:41,329 You see, theoretically, we can reverse the reversal 105 00:07:41,540 --> 00:07:45,613 and replicate the original Red Dwarf by amalgamating the two copies. 106 00:07:45,780 --> 00:07:48,499 He makes it sound so simple. 107 00:07:58,020 --> 00:08:04,016 We have to find a terminal to re-boost Mr Rimmer's battery pack. We'll catch you up. 108 00:08:07,860 --> 00:08:09,214 (CELESTIAL MUSIC) 109 00:08:09,380 --> 00:08:15,171 Check that music. It's magnificent! I never heard anything like it before. 110 00:08:15,340 --> 00:08:18,696 (INHALES) Ooh! Get a lungful of that air, man! 111 00:08:18,860 --> 00:08:21,739 Hmm! Makes you feel good to be alive. 112 00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:25,655 Everything about this ship is... well, it's divine. 113 00:08:26,980 --> 00:08:29,130 Hey, let's check the food. 114 00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:34,011 - What did you order? - Ultimate test - Pot Noodle. 115 00:08:37,580 --> 00:08:40,015 (BOTH) Mmm! 116 00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:44,973 I tell you one thing, I've been to a parallel universe, I've seen time running backwards, 117 00:08:45,140 --> 00:08:48,098 I've played pool with planets and I've given birth to twins, 118 00:08:48,260 --> 00:08:53,255 but I never thought in my entire life I'd taste an edible Pot Noodle. 119 00:08:53,460 --> 00:08:55,451 Brothers, we bid you welcome. 120 00:08:57,180 --> 00:09:01,617 There must be much you do not understand. Come. 121 00:09:03,980 --> 00:09:06,290 You're me but you're not me...? 122 00:09:06,460 --> 00:09:11,489 I am part of you, your higher self. Your spiritual side. I exist in you as potential. 123 00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:14,379 Now I'm here, extrapolated from your being. 124 00:09:14,540 --> 00:09:17,817 Extrapo-what-alated? Buddy, there is no way are you part of me. 125 00:09:17,980 --> 00:09:21,860 No part of me would ever be seen alive in sandals. 126 00:09:22,060 --> 00:09:27,533 I find clothes a distraction from the pursuit of spiritual and intellectual fulfilment. 127 00:09:27,740 --> 00:09:30,778 That's weird because I find spiritual and intellectual fulfilment 128 00:09:30,980 --> 00:09:33,893 a distraction from the pursuit of clothes. 129 00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:39,015 Let us join our friends in the meditation chamber. Perhaps then we can spend a profitable evening 130 00:09:39,180 --> 00:09:43,219 seeking out answers to the metaphysical conundra that have plagued mankind since time began. 131 00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:46,372 - Sounds wild. - Hold me back. 132 00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:51,492 Philosophy, poetry, music and study. That is how we spend our time. 133 00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:55,858 Trying to expand our minds and unlock our full potential in the service of humankind. 134 00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:58,491 What a pair of losers. 135 00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:03,259 Oh! More visitors. Come, soul-sibling, let us prepare some refreshments. 136 00:10:03,460 --> 00:10:08,409 May your path lead to wisdom, and in wisdom know ye peace. 137 00:10:14,660 --> 00:10:18,016 These guys are supposed to be part of us? I don't buy it. 138 00:10:18,220 --> 00:10:21,356 These are our higher selves. They are the people we could have become 139 00:10:21,380 --> 00:10:23,898 if all the negative aspects of our characters were removed. 140 00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:28,014 - You mean hippies? - With respect sir, you think Jesus was a hippy. 141 00:10:28,220 --> 00:10:31,975 Well, he was. He had long hair and he didn't have a job. What more do you want? 142 00:10:32,380 --> 00:10:34,815 How come they're so much smarter than we are? 143 00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:41,315 This is my guess - your mind records everything. Everything you see, hear, every word you read, every conversation. 144 00:10:41,339 --> 00:10:43,336 It's all stored in your subconscious. 145 00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:46,458 Somehow, our higher selves have access to that knowledge. 146 00:10:46,660 --> 00:10:49,437 Look, I'm getting itchy feet here. You got the gizmo, let's scram 147 00:10:49,461 --> 00:10:53,850 before the Mad Monk Brothers rope us into an evening of philosophical musings and self-flagellation. 148 00:10:54,660 --> 00:10:58,893 It's not that simple. This triplicator has only half the vital components. 149 00:10:59,060 --> 00:11:01,779 We need the second triplicator from the "low" ship. 150 00:11:01,980 --> 00:11:04,335 (DING!) 151 00:11:06,380 --> 00:11:08,371 Let the entertainment begin. 152 00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:13,609 There will be haiku readings, poetry recitals and musings on the inner soul. 153 00:11:13,780 --> 00:11:16,169 But first, music and dance. 154 00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:19,695 Brother Rimmer is portraying agony. 155 00:11:19,860 --> 00:11:22,500 The agony of the soul as he searches out the truth. 156 00:11:22,700 --> 00:11:25,374 The truth danced by Brother Cat. 157 00:11:25,540 --> 00:11:27,736 (DING!) 158 00:11:30,900 --> 00:11:35,895 - But truth is elusive. - It flits like a firefly through the cold night of the soul, 159 00:11:36,060 --> 00:11:37,971 teasing, confusing. 160 00:11:38,180 --> 00:11:43,050 And agony, in torment, searches forever in vain. 161 00:11:45,340 --> 00:11:48,776 - Brothers, I am compelled to intrude. - What is it, sister? 162 00:11:48,980 --> 00:11:53,656 I am receiving a weak but plaintive distress call from a ship which appears to be identical to our own. 163 00:11:53,860 --> 00:11:57,137 Then, we must help them. With haste, brothers. 164 00:11:59,620 --> 00:12:01,896 (WHIRRS) 165 00:12:08,820 --> 00:12:12,939 Approach pattern plotted. Let's just take her in nice and easy. 166 00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:31,932 OK, keep 'em peeled, guys. 167 00:12:44,660 --> 00:12:47,778 Welcome, brothers. We bring food and medical supplies. 168 00:12:47,940 --> 00:12:49,533 (GUNSHOT) 169 00:12:49,980 --> 00:12:53,336 Poor devil. His gun must have gone off accidentally. 170 00:12:54,020 --> 00:12:57,411 Welcome, my children. We bring you balms and tinctures. 171 00:12:59,140 --> 00:13:02,849 I come in peace to sing you healing hymns. 172 00:13:04,940 --> 00:13:07,409 - Is he dead? - We can only hope. 173 00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:11,097 Oh! The poor wretch! He has a faulty gun. 174 00:13:11,260 --> 00:13:14,935 He accidentally shot me five times. Oh, how I love him! 175 00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:20,413 Brother, there is a grievous fault with thine weapon. It keepeth shooting people. 176 00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:24,171 You see? There it goes again. 177 00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:29,330 - What is this? - It's a greeting gift. A sparkling welcome orb. 178 00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:33,499 Come, let us embrace its splendid beauty and share in its vibrations. 179 00:13:33,660 --> 00:13:36,379 It's exquisite, divine. What does it say to you, brother? 180 00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:50,260 (SNIGGERS) 181 00:14:01,700 --> 00:14:04,010 (GRUNTS AND SLURPS) 182 00:14:30,700 --> 00:14:34,011 (MANIC MUTTERING) 183 00:14:42,460 --> 00:14:43,939 (WHISPERS) Rimmer? 184 00:14:46,020 --> 00:14:47,818 Rimmer? 185 00:14:50,420 --> 00:14:52,411 Rimmer? 186 00:14:54,140 --> 00:14:56,017 Rimmer? 187 00:14:58,980 --> 00:15:01,938 - Rimmer? - Looking for someone? 188 00:15:04,980 --> 00:15:06,732 Holy smeg! 189 00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:08,937 Hello, my pretty. 190 00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:13,894 What do you want with me? 191 00:15:14,060 --> 00:15:16,574 - I want to hurt you. - Why? 192 00:15:16,780 --> 00:15:21,456 Because I'm not a very nice person. 193 00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:30,134 A holo-whip. 194 00:15:30,860 --> 00:15:35,696 I'm going to lash you to within an inch of your life. 195 00:15:35,860 --> 00:15:39,569 And then I'm going to have you. 196 00:15:45,540 --> 00:15:47,531 (LAUGHS) 197 00:15:47,740 --> 00:15:51,654 (ALL LAUGH SCORNFULLY) 198 00:15:54,860 --> 00:15:57,249 (LAUGHTER ECHOES) 199 00:15:58,860 --> 00:16:04,651 Sirs, we're running short of time. We have less than 20 minutes to find the second triplicator and set it up. 200 00:16:04,820 --> 00:16:06,970 I suggest we divide our efforts. 201 00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:10,895 - A sage suggestion, brother. - Perhaps I should go with Brother Cat? 202 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,310 You haven't got a weapon. 203 00:16:12,334 --> 00:16:15,890 We have no need of weapons, feline brother. We wear protective herbs. 204 00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:20,091 - I'm going with Bot-Brain. - As you wish, brother. 205 00:16:20,260 --> 00:16:22,376 Thank you, friend. 206 00:16:32,940 --> 00:16:37,889 - It is ready. - Put it in his spine. (SNIGGERS) 207 00:16:38,820 --> 00:16:42,370 Wake up. You don't want to miss the pain. 208 00:16:43,580 --> 00:16:48,211 Can you feel the needles as they burrow into your spine? 209 00:16:48,420 --> 00:16:50,616 (SNIGGERS) 210 00:16:52,020 --> 00:16:55,376 You guys are two lettuces short of an allotment. 211 00:16:55,540 --> 00:16:57,975 - What are you after? - We want your vessel. 212 00:16:58,180 --> 00:17:02,333 - Nothing works here, man. - Everything is in decay. 213 00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:07,176 And here is how we're going to get it. 214 00:17:10,740 --> 00:17:13,937 (GRUNTING AND SNIGGERING) 215 00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:16,694 - I can't move. - Of course not. 216 00:17:16,860 --> 00:17:18,897 He hasn't turned you on yet. 217 00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,969 - Show him. - (SNIGGERS) 218 00:17:22,820 --> 00:17:24,618 (BLEEP) 219 00:17:28,860 --> 00:17:30,692 (BLEEP) 220 00:17:30,900 --> 00:17:36,134 - He applauds our efforts. - Maybe he'd like to go for a little walk. 221 00:17:36,340 --> 00:17:40,652 - Game over now, eh? Game over? - I wonder what's in that supply cabinet? 222 00:17:47,780 --> 00:17:49,179 (CRUNCH) 223 00:17:49,380 --> 00:17:52,020 (THEY CACKLE AND SNIGGER) 224 00:17:53,220 --> 00:17:56,053 Oh, no! No. 225 00:17:56,220 --> 00:18:00,771 (LOW KRYTEN) I wonder if he'd like a drink to calm him down? 226 00:18:01,340 --> 00:18:02,819 No! 227 00:18:05,140 --> 00:18:07,700 (CACKLING) 228 00:18:08,300 --> 00:18:09,973 Whoops! 229 00:18:12,140 --> 00:18:14,211 (POT HISSES) 230 00:18:14,540 --> 00:18:18,374 - Perhaps he'd like something to eat. - (THEY CACKLE) 231 00:18:21,020 --> 00:18:22,818 Yes! 232 00:18:26,140 --> 00:18:30,532 Oh! You guys have got to be yanking my chain! 233 00:18:35,620 --> 00:18:37,611 Bon appetit. 234 00:18:41,380 --> 00:18:43,735 (SNIGGERS) 235 00:18:46,060 --> 00:18:49,894 - Welcome to our team. - No way are you part of me. 236 00:18:50,060 --> 00:18:54,736 Oh, yes, he is. He's the little boy who pulled the legs off insects, 237 00:18:54,900 --> 00:19:00,134 he's the little boy who, on a hot summer's day, held a magnifying glass to his best friend's neck 238 00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:04,055 and watched him buuuuurn! 239 00:19:05,180 --> 00:19:10,050 He's the part of you who wants all your friends to fail. 240 00:19:10,260 --> 00:19:14,140 The part of you that loves to watch horror movies. 241 00:19:14,340 --> 00:19:18,732 The part of you that lusts after meaningless sex. 242 00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:22,092 He's cruel. He's selfish. 243 00:19:22,260 --> 00:19:26,493 He thinks terrible... mmm... things. 244 00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:29,010 He's you. 245 00:19:29,220 --> 00:19:31,496 Ah, but he...he kills. 246 00:19:31,660 --> 00:19:36,291 - I'm not capable of that. - Ah, we'll soon see about that. 247 00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:42,930 - Ugh! - Whew! Phew! 248 00:19:45,660 --> 00:19:48,413 Hmm... Nice movie collection. 249 00:19:48,580 --> 00:19:52,255 "Revenge of the Mutant Splat Gore Monster". 250 00:19:52,420 --> 00:19:54,889 "Die Screaming with Sharp Things in Your Head". 251 00:19:55,700 --> 00:19:57,896 Gore movies. Weapons magazines. 252 00:19:58,060 --> 00:20:01,018 This is a shrine to everything that's low and base, 253 00:20:01,180 --> 00:20:05,538 everything designed to sicken the soul and shrivel the spirit. 254 00:20:06,620 --> 00:20:08,975 Urgh! Toastie Toppers. 255 00:20:09,820 --> 00:20:11,299 Urgh! 256 00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,974 Cinema hot dogs. 257 00:20:14,140 --> 00:20:18,293 Oh! Sweaty kebabs with stringy brown lettuce coming out. Oh! 258 00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:23,292 Look at this music - "Hammond Heaven", "Karaoke Krazy", 259 00:20:23,460 --> 00:20:26,657 "Peter Perfect Plays Tuneful Tunes for Elderly Ladies". 260 00:20:26,820 --> 00:20:30,176 - Let's get outta here. - Oh, wait. Here it is! 261 00:20:30,340 --> 00:20:33,492 Oh. Clearly, they have no idea as to its purpose. 262 00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:37,330 - How long do we have? - Barely eight minutes, sir. 263 00:20:40,140 --> 00:20:42,893 Have I told today how much I love thee, brother? 264 00:20:43,060 --> 00:20:48,009 How much my heart glimmers like a newborn star when I gaze upon thine peachiest countenance? 265 00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:51,935 Thy love refreshes and cleanses me like a babbling mountain stream, brother 266 00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:56,850 (MUFFLED) Mmmmwwwwmm! Mmmnnph! 267 00:20:57,620 --> 00:20:59,770 Hist yonder, your likeness, brother? 268 00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:03,299 (THEY SNEER AND CACKLE) 269 00:21:04,740 --> 00:21:07,050 Mwww mmffff mmm! Fwwm mmw mmmrrrm! 270 00:21:07,260 --> 00:21:09,729 A knife. Are you hungry, brother? 271 00:21:09,900 --> 00:21:13,370 I have pulses and a little curd for your refreshment. 272 00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:21,740 Forgive me, brother. I appear to have stained thy knife-end with my blood. 273 00:21:22,300 --> 00:21:24,291 A thousand apologies. 274 00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:31,092 Brother, permit me to furnish you with a fresh knife. 275 00:21:35,260 --> 00:21:38,173 Farewell, brother, my brook is babbled. 276 00:21:41,660 --> 00:21:44,379 (THEY GRUNT AND SNEER) 277 00:21:45,260 --> 00:21:47,251 (CRACK) 278 00:21:53,540 --> 00:21:56,532 I found Goalpost-Head. No sign of Dormouse-Cheeks, though. 279 00:21:56,700 --> 00:21:59,818 - Sir, we were so worried, what happened? - We were ambushed by a platoon of Lows. 280 00:21:59,980 --> 00:22:04,178 - I was leading a valiant rearguard action. - I found him shivering in a box. 281 00:22:05,100 --> 00:22:09,936 - It was a tactical manoeuvre to outfox the enemy - As was using his uniform as a temporary latrine. 282 00:22:11,180 --> 00:22:13,171 - Sir, where is Mr Lister? - We got jumped. 283 00:22:13,340 --> 00:22:17,493 He ran off through the storage bay like a gazelle on steroids. We'll just have to leave him. 284 00:22:17,700 --> 00:22:20,419 In four minutes, this ship will no longer exist. 285 00:22:20,860 --> 00:22:24,057 - Hey, there he is! - Mmmwww! Hwwwmmm! 286 00:22:24,220 --> 00:22:26,211 What took you so long, buddy? 287 00:22:26,900 --> 00:22:29,733 - What? - Look out! I'm gonna kill ya! 288 00:22:30,780 --> 00:22:34,853 I'm a homicidal maniac. My body's being remote-controlled by the Lows. 289 00:22:36,500 --> 00:22:38,298 Kryten, look out! 290 00:22:38,460 --> 00:22:40,656 You gotta stop me! 291 00:22:43,980 --> 00:22:45,573 - Shoot him! - What?! 292 00:22:45,780 --> 00:22:48,852 - Blow his kneecaps off, it's the only way! - Give me a break, Rimmer! 293 00:22:49,060 --> 00:22:51,256 He's homicidal maniac. Put him down! 294 00:22:51,460 --> 00:22:54,452 There must be some other way. You've got to incapacitate me somehow. 295 00:22:54,660 --> 00:22:57,493 There, Kryten. Hit him over the head with that axe. 296 00:22:57,700 --> 00:23:00,852 - That'll kill me! - Not if he does it gently. 297 00:23:01,060 --> 00:23:03,859 - He's killing the Cat. - Oh, what can I do? 298 00:23:04,060 --> 00:23:06,415 Incapacitate me in a painless way. 299 00:23:06,620 --> 00:23:08,657 (CRUNCH) 300 00:23:09,820 --> 00:23:11,811 (GASPS) That was unnecessary. 301 00:23:11,980 --> 00:23:16,338 Unnecessary? Look what you've done to my neckline. This stuff never springs back. 302 00:23:17,420 --> 00:23:20,856 Oh, my God! I think I'm going for the bazookoid! 303 00:23:21,060 --> 00:23:22,380 Duck! 304 00:23:22,580 --> 00:23:24,014 Left! 305 00:23:24,220 --> 00:23:25,699 Right! 306 00:23:25,900 --> 00:23:27,971 I'm trying to reload! Someone get behind me! 307 00:23:28,180 --> 00:23:31,889 - I'm going to come round behind you now, sir. - OK, Kryten, take me by surprise. 308 00:23:32,060 --> 00:23:34,283 I'm coming round behind you and taking you by surprise, sir. 309 00:23:34,307 --> 00:23:35,052 Get on with it! Surprise me! 310 00:23:35,220 --> 00:23:37,655 You may get an unpleasant sensation of chloroform, don't be alarmed. 311 00:23:37,820 --> 00:23:40,812 - Surprise me now! - Here comes my surprise, sir. 312 00:23:47,500 --> 00:23:49,969 OK. How long before the triplicator activates? 313 00:23:50,140 --> 00:23:52,416 Less than two minutes. 314 00:23:58,540 --> 00:24:00,577 (KRYTEN) Hurry! 315 00:24:04,580 --> 00:24:07,459 (ENGINE WHEEZES) 316 00:24:09,660 --> 00:24:12,698 (CAT) Damn! A flat battery. Who left the lights on? 317 00:24:12,900 --> 00:24:15,016 No, it's the magnetic coils, they've depolarised. 318 00:24:15,180 --> 00:24:17,899 It's as if the decay on this ship is in some way contagious. 319 00:24:18,100 --> 00:24:20,091 - 35 seconds. - Try the back-up. 320 00:24:20,300 --> 00:24:22,530 (ENGINE ROARS) 321 00:24:24,460 --> 00:24:26,656 Let's get out of here. 322 00:24:27,260 --> 00:24:28,978 Yep. All systems check. 323 00:24:31,540 --> 00:24:33,531 (RIMMER) We're up. Looking good. 324 00:24:37,340 --> 00:24:40,014 - Not again! - (RIMMER) Watch where you're steering! 325 00:24:40,220 --> 00:24:44,737 - Chloroform him! - Oh wait. I think I've located the spinal implant. 326 00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:51,131 - Where is it? I've lost it. - It's in his neck. 327 00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:10,138 Holly's back! 328 00:25:10,300 --> 00:25:13,133 Mr Lister, wake up, sir. It's over, we're safe now. 329 00:25:13,340 --> 00:25:17,652 Engaging autopilot. Course zero zero mark zero. Taking her home. 330 00:25:22,940 --> 00:25:25,329 See what you did to my blouson? Look at it. 331 00:25:25,500 --> 00:25:28,652 - Plus, you almost killed me three times. - Sorry, it wasn't my fault. 332 00:25:28,820 --> 00:25:33,018 - Once you get one of them things in you, you just go kind of- - Sir, what's wrong? 333 00:25:33,220 --> 00:25:37,373 - I think he just sat on the spinal implant. - But it doesn't make sense. Who's controlling him? 334 00:25:37,540 --> 00:25:38,939 (SNIGGERING) 335 00:25:42,980 --> 00:25:45,813 I'd better remove the implant and destroy it once and for all. 336 00:25:48,660 --> 00:25:51,493 Uh-uh. Wait a minute. Just give me one week, that's all I ask. 337 00:25:51,660 --> 00:25:53,731 What are you talking about? 338 00:25:56,900 --> 00:25:59,050 Boy, this is gonna be fun. 339 00:26:02,820 --> 00:26:06,529 # It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere 340 00:26:06,700 --> 00:26:09,579 # I'm all alone, more or less 341 00:26:09,740 --> 00:26:12,937 # Let me fly far away from here 342 00:26:13,100 --> 00:26:15,740 # Fun, fun, fun 343 00:26:15,900 --> 00:26:19,530 # In the sun, sun, sun 344 00:26:19,700 --> 00:26:22,977 # I want to lie, shipwrecked and comatose 345 00:26:23,140 --> 00:26:26,292 # Drinking fresh mango juice 346 00:26:26,460 --> 00:26:29,657 # Goldfish shoals, nibbling at my toes 347 00:26:29,820 --> 00:26:32,494 # Fun, fun, fun 348 00:26:32,660 --> 00:26:36,210 # In the sun, sun, sun 349 00:26:36,380 --> 00:26:39,133 # Fun, fun, fun 350 00:26:39,300 --> 00:26:43,339 # In the sun, sun, sun #